Men's Ties & Accessories

Ben Hatch chooses 10 of the best Christmas family attractions around Britain.

Www.nrm.org.uk

3) Wonderland, Telford

Basically Vegas for toddlers. At this pre-school theme park, fairytales and nursery rhymes are brought to life though animatronic models, many of which move their forearms exactly like Harry Enfield’s Brookside Scouser, pleading, “Cahm down, cahm down.” In Winter Wonderland expect real reindeer, Father Christmas, elves and Mrs Christmas eliciting kids’ help stirring her mince pie mix. The highlight for us, though, was Dribble Dragon's café, where we overheard a fraught teacher in a Santa hat tell a colleague about her party of visiting schoolchildren: “I’m afraid Mrs Clack hasn’t risk-assessed the ball pit so they gotta come out.”

4) The Yellow Duckmarine, Liverpool

The Yellow Duckmarine is an amphibious 1960s landing craft from the Vietnam war. Refashioned, it now doubles as a city sightseeing bus and a boat cruising Salthouse Dock. What it is not is the submarine my wife assumed it was. Having misunderstood its purpose she was understandably unhappy with the Velcro straps holding shut the plastic windows, whose strength she guessed was about to be severely tested with a few thousand pounds per square inch of water pressure when we dived. It proved a humiliating hour for us, sitting at my wife’s insistence in our bulky orange lifejackets on what was effectively a bus, and getting pointed and laughed at a) by passers-by at traffic lights outside the World Museum and b) by the tour guide himself. “A big hand, please, for the Safe Family. Yes, ladies and gentlemen – they’ve been wearing them since Gower Street.” For Christmas, the craft is bedecked in tinsel and fairy lights and driven by Santa, while his elf relates Liverpudlian Christmas facts such as that St Nicholas is the city’s patron saint, and the first Santa grotto (1876) was in the city’s recently-closed Lewis department store.

Source: Telegraph.co.uk

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